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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in jasper_monster's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, June 15th, 2008
8:06 am
terrifying things are happening outside! why don't the humans care? I keep telling them and telling them, but they just lie there. it's very very scary right now. I meow and meow but the loud noises keep happening. meow.
Sunday, December 16th, 2007
8:04 pm
Yesterday I suffered the worst indignity a cat can suffer.


They gave me a bath.
Monday, December 10th, 2007
12:06 am
obsidian_kitten said I should do the seven things meme. You should do it to.

1. I like potato chips. I break into the kitchen cabinets to eat them.
2. The pink humans brought me a cat bed. It's like a big black cat. I like to sleep in it.
3. I steal milk when the humans leave glasses with milk in them.
4. I like pasta. Even when it's dry and crunchy.
5. I like loaves of bread too. Unfortunately the humans hide them from me now.
6. I like to scruff obsidian_kitten. Then I clean his ears.
7. Sometimes I leave straight pins in bloodstones shoes.
Wednesday, March 7th, 2007
3:47 pm
Everyone must have a crush on me. I have spots on my belly. I sit in boxes. And I am a famous hunter of mice. I killed a mouse with my bare paws.


Crush this person!
Get your own ThisCrush.com CrushTag!
Wednesday, February 21st, 2007
9:06 am
I am the biggest badass alive.



I caught a mouse last night.
Tuesday, February 13th, 2007
10:58 pm
HAH! I have learned to defeat the evil food machine. It taunts me with all the food in its innards. It just sits there and only occasionally will it give me some of the food. But I show it who's boss. I bash it about until it gives me tasty tasty morsels of food. It tries to hold back, and just give a morsel or two at a time, but after I eat those I bash it about again and it gives me more. I am a mighty mighty cat. Inanimate objects fear me.
Saturday, December 16th, 2006
12:23 pm
Meow meow meow

meow meow meow meow meow meow

meow
Thursday, November 16th, 2006
7:47 pm
The girl brought home a new thing. It has food in it and she put it near the other food bowls but we can't get at the food even though we tried and tried. I bit the lid of the thing. I put my paws up into this opening in the thing. But no food. After a little while food just started pouring out of the opening. obsidian_kitten and I ate the food that came out but there's still more food in it.

I'm watching the thing now to see if it the food comes out again.
Thursday, November 2nd, 2006
12:16 am
bloodstones has been having cat days lately. I guess that means she's not feeling well. obsidian_kitten and I have been trying very hard to cheer her up. We chase things in a cute manner, and then we cuddle with her a lot. We are so good. And I finish her sherbert for her, even though she says that's bad. How can it be bad if it is so tasty?
Tuesday, September 19th, 2006
12:40 am
I became a world traveler today. We went in the taxi to the airport. I talked a lot on the ride. The silly pink two legged freaks people wouldn't let me go through security by myself. They insisted on carrying me. Then we went on a plane. It was my first time on a plane. I wasn't even scared. After that bloodstones drove us back to the new apartment. It's nice. There are no stairs, but there's a spinny desk chair. I have claimed it as my own. And we got treats. I like treats.
Friday, July 14th, 2006
2:46 pm
a valuable life lesson
bloodstones said that I should type this five times to make sure I remember in the future.

If I eat rubber bands I will cause my humans great worry and then puke.

If I eat rubber bands I will cause my humans great worry and then puke.

If I eat rubber bands I will cause my humans great worry and then puke.

If I eat rubber bands I will cause my humans great worry and then puke.

If I eat rubber bands I will cause my humans great worry and then puke.
Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
11:20 pm
In the past couple of months I really felt like I had reached a plateau in my cute achievements, but over the past week or two I think that I've managed to overcome that and reach new apexes of cuteness. I've found exciting new cute ways of sleeping. One of my biggest accomplishments was sleeping stretched out on the open windowsill. The humans could not withstand my power of cute.
Thursday, June 22nd, 2006
5:40 pm
I am so handsome
I have spots on my belly
And elegant claws
Thursday, June 15th, 2006
5:11 pm
Today I munched on a tasty tasty yoga block. I was going to carve it into a sculpture using only my teeth and claws and then start a museum of cat art. I'm sure many cats would enjoy the opportunity to display their art. Perhaps I could do performance art too. I have a peice all ready that I call Jasper Being Cute In A Box. Then bloodstones took the yoga block away. Nobody understands my art.
Saturday, April 8th, 2006
9:34 am
I hit the nip way to hard last night. I should know better than to try and keep up with obsidian_kitten. I may be a cuddle slut, but he's a total nip junkie, and he has a much higher tolerance. I'm going to go take a nap now.
Wednesday, February 15th, 2006
11:13 pm
Pounce on Obsidian...
Or take a nap...

Pounce on Obsidian...
Or take a nap...

Pounce on Obsidian...
Or take a nap...
Monday, October 31st, 2005
6:24 pm
My humans had a party on Saturday. It was great. Someone left half a burrito out where I could find it. It was as big as my head. I stalked it, and hunted it, and wrestled it to the ground, and had several yummy bites of it before someone took it away from me. That part was sad. I also made out with obsidian_kitten for awhile. I think we shocked hawver, but it was that kind of night. He was talking about wanting to clone us so he could have kittens that look just like us, so I guess he still likes us.
Tuesday, October 11th, 2005
11:30 pm
It's been a pretty good day today. I pinned obsidian_kitten down and gave his neck and ears a thorough washing. Then we took a nice cuddly nap together to make bloodstones feel better. She's been home all day taking naps, and lying about; kind of like my ordinary day, but when the people have a cat day it means something is wrong. I think that if they had more cat days their lives would be better. Later obsidian_kitten and I had the kitty-crazies, and chased each other all over the place. Then uberjay carried me around in my box, and put me in the room all the people are in. They can't stand to be apart from me. I bring sunshine to their lives.
Monday, October 10th, 2005
10:33 pm
I have a new interest. I sit in boxes. Sometimes I take naps in boxes too. uberjay brings me boxes and puts them in front of me when I am not sufficiently comfortable. I scorn the box until he puts a nice fleece blanket in it. Then I hop in the box right away. I have trained the pink two-legged slave loving human roommate so well. The boxes are so comfy with blankets in them, and they are perfectly Jasper-sized. I truly am the king of all I survey.
Saturday, October 1st, 2005
11:44 am
I have decided that when I grow up I want to be a tiger. I'll be a big feirce tiger, that stalks things, and pounces on things; and I won't just pounce on little things, like the catnip mice I practice on now; I'll pounce on really big things, because I'm going to be a tiger, and tigers do that. I'll live in a jungle and the people can have a hut to live in where they keep the food, and the food bowls. And I'll pounce on things to keep them safe.
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